Thanksgiving has already passed, I can't believe it. As the holidays approach, all I can think about is you. I'm not going to lie, this has been a rough, rough year. I'm searching and searching through my brain for memories of us together, I don't ever want to forget them. I don't ever want to forget you. In time I know my heart will heal and I believe one day we'll be together again, but for now...it aches.
A few weekends ago I went to get my haircut and there was an older lady in the waiting area that looked like you. Mom and I both looked at one another and said "She looks just like Grandmother". Isn't it amazing how things like that happen? Just when I'm missing you the most, I see someone who resembles you. That reminded me of a time when we lived in Savannah. Mom, Trevor and I were on our way to eat Applebee's and Trevor was talking about missing the trains at Ba's house and naming them after Thomas & Friends. As he was talking, we approached a railroad crossing and to our stunned eyes, the crossing arms dropped and the bell began to ring that a train was on its way. It was almost as if Ba heard us talking about the trains and sent one our way. Before that trip to Applebee's and even after, I don't recall us ever encountering another train.
Things just aren't the same without you here and I can't seem to grasp that you're gone. It just feels like you're on vacation or something. I want to call you, I want to visit you and hug your neck, but I can't. I don't want to be sad, but the selfish child in me misses you so badly and I want you back. There's a beautiful photo of you and I hugging from my wedding, I have a copy of it at my desk at work and in the foyer at home. I love you and miss you.