Things I've Learned Part II

It's been a few weeks since my original post Things I've Learned so I thought I would make some additions to my experience with motherhood.


- Sometimes your Mom knows best.

- Baths are interesting.  I'm still giving them in the kitchen, on the table, in the tub they gave us from the hospital.  For me it's easiest. 

- It's ok to want to punch your husband in the head for not getting up quick enough when you ask him for help.

- Time away is ok.

- Opinions are like assholes, every body has one and some are just plain shitty.  Do what you feel is best for your family.

- If you thought you slept light before having a baby, you got another thing coming.  I swear I can hear Persephone pee in her diaper...ok that's an exaggeration, but still.

- Baby eats first, no exceptions.

- No matter how well you know someone, you'll still be nervous about leaving your baby with them.

- I don't like it when people wearing perfume/cologne hold my baby because I'm stuck smelling them the rest of the day instead of that sweet baby smell.

- DO NOT let someone discourage you or guilt you into doing something you don't feel comfortable doing with your baby.

- Put your foot down when it comes to the way you expect and want things done for your baby.

- It's ok to stare at baby, soak it up because they change day by day.

- I still find it mind boggling that I gave birth to a baby.

- Babies really do fart as loud as adults, so you could easily blame one on them (but I haven't yet).

Separation anxiety

I've stepped away for a few minutes here and there since Persephone was born, but nothing over an hour. It feels good to get away sometimes, have a moment to myself and feel human again. I love the time alone with my daughter, but you don't realize how off track you become when your daily activities consist of baby talk, bottles, dirty diapers and laundry!

So this past Friday my younger brothers dad offered to watch Persephone so Hardy and I could step out and have dinner alone. I was so thankful he did because Hardy and I really haven't had any alone time as a couple. Even though we just went around the corner to Chili's we were still "away", lol.

Then Saturday we asked Hardy's mom to come babysit so we could finally make a trip to the haunted house. This was our first year not being involved physically. I'll admit I have missed it, but I don't miss the drive to Dahlonega and I know I would miss Persephone more.

So we left the house at about 6:45 and didn't get home until some time after 10. While we were waiting in line I tried calling his mom to check on the baby and she didn't answer, I was so upset. I know she was fine, but I wanted to be able to check on my baby when I want! After that point I really started having Persephone withdrawals...even as precise as not being able to remember her smell.

I can only imagine how tough my first day back at work will be...yowsa

In love...

Flashback Friday

I am linking up with my friend Emily this week!  My flashback is to February 20, 2005 

From the start of my relationship with Hardy it was obvious he was a music lover - as am I.  But he used to talk non-stop specifically about this little ole' band by the name of Mötley Crüe.  I'll be honest when he first mentioned them I had no idea who they were...no worries, he was kind enough to explain and still does to this day! 

 

Just so YOU are in the loop.  Mötley Crüe is a "hair metal" band from the 80's.  With *hits* like "Shout At The Devil", "Dr. Feelgood", "Girls, Girls, Girls" and "Home Sweet Home".  The band consists of Vince Neil (singer), Nikki Sixx (bassist), Mick Mars (guitarist) and Tommy Lee (drummer yes who was once married to Pamela Anderson and is known for his private part).  In the 90's Vince Neil left/was kicked out...that's still up in the air according to who you ask and Tommy Lee left to pursue another musical path.  Hardy had seen them once before we met, but it was with a different drummer as Tommy Lee had just left.  In 2000 his parents took us to see them in Charlotte, NC and again it was with another drummer.  Of course Hardy's dream was to see the ORIGINAL Mötley Crüe just once in his life, but that was wishful thinking.  Fast forward to 2004, rumors on their message board were saying the band was planning to reunite and tour in 2005.  Finally an official statement was released and a tour was announced.

 

Thank God we were living with his parents at the time, because as soon as tickets went on sale he bought them.  The closest date on the tour was Greenville, SC and he bought 2 VIP packages (to the tune of $400/piece).  The package included a pre-show tour of the stage, a t-shirt, guitar picks, lanyard, guaranteed seat within first two rows AND a meet and greet with the band).  I kind of felt sick about the money spent, but it was too late to cry at that point.

 

February 20, 2005 rolls around - we head up to Greenville, SC and get our passes.  We were in a small group with maybe 12 other people and began our tour.  The guide showed us the stage, their props and instruments and then took us backstage to some room where we awaited the arrival of the band.  Funny thing was I was getting nervous and they weren't even my favorite band!  Being in a room surrounded by Crüe fans who were all sweaty and fidgety waiting to see their idols I guess rubbed off on me.  A few moments later the four of them walked in and I think every one did a synchronized gasp - haha.

 

One by one we were called up to take a photo with the band and we could have something signed.  I had them sign an 8x10 poster and Hardy brought a CD book.  We were able to shake their hands and speak to them briefly.   I took my opportunity and told Tommy Lee that Hardy and I had met at a Methods of Mayhem concert (for those of you who don't remember or know...he had a hit in 1999 with the song "Get Naked" haha) and we were still together.  Surprisingly he acknowledged what I said and told the rest of the band.  I remember Nikki Sixx asking "So when is the Mötley wedding?"  If I were smart I would have said "HOW ABOUT TONIGHT ON STAGE?!" but instead I just laughed like a little kid and smiled.  Damn I blew my shot!

 

 

 

Afterward we were all giddy and called our families to tell them how awesome it was to meet the band.  We went back to our car to stow away our autographs and came back to get our tickets for the show.  The tickets said ROW A, but as some of you may know...you never quite know where A starts.  Each venue sets up seating their own way.  To our excitement and surprise though, for us this WAS - FRONT ROW AND CENTER!!  We couldn't believe it.  Literally we were just in front of Vince Neil's mic stand.  I know Hardy was happier than a kid in Disney World and I was excited too.  There's something about meeting someone famous even if you didn't like them before, you magically like them now (I guess that's true, unless they were sleazeballs during your encounter). 

 

They put on an AMAZING show and by default it was the best show ever since we had shaken their hands and talked to them an hour prior.  At the end of the show, Nikki Sixx smashed his bass and we caught a couple pieces - yahoo!

 

We have seen Mötley Crüe what feels like a million times since then (when really it's like 8 or 9 more times).  They've put on a great show every time, but we will never forget THIS one.

Thank you

I just wanted to take a minute to thank every one who has been so sweet to us since we learned about our pregnancy (and after her birth).  From gifts to food to clothes and even offers to babysit, we are truly thankful.

At first I started telling people "No thanks" when they would offer to watch her for a few minutes so we could get out of the house.  I guess parental instincts kicked in and told us to say no.  Eventually I realized that time away doesn't mean you are abandoning your baby, but rather taking a break so you can gather yourself and actually be a better parent.

Two of my co-workers/friends watched Persephone one day before Hardy went back to work so we could enjoy lunch alone.  We DID go to lunch, but it was literally 2 minutes away and the service was so fast we were back within 30 minutes.  They thought we faked it, ha ha.  Truth is we didn't have a whole lot to talk about so we didn't drag lunch out longer than it needed to be.  It's kind of a tug-o-war when you're away from your baby (at least so far in my case).  Part of me lets out this sigh of relief knowing I'm still human and my name is Amanda and I'm 27yrs old - but another part of me starts wondering what Persephone is doing and if she's ok...etc.

But seriously...you just don't know how much people love and care for you. 

I would especially like to thank my mom.  Not that I don't appreciate anyone else, but sometimes you need/want your "Mom" regardless of what anyone else offers.  She's helped me become more comfortable with being a mother myself.  Occasionally I get a little anxious when I can't figure out what a certain cry means or why she's being fussy and when my mom is around she gives me suggestions that really help.  ((It doesn't hurt that when she visits she keeps Persephone at night and Hardy and I are able to get uninterrupted sleep - even though I still wake up when I hear her cry out)).  I know some of you are probably saying that's the only reason she gets a special shout out...but it's not.  And even if it was that's ok cause this is my blog and I can do what I want.  I kind of hate that she lives three hours away, because I wish she could visit Persephone more often, however, I think it makes her visits that much more exciting (for both of us). 

So one more time and it won't be the last - THANK YOU EVERY ONE for your help and love!

Who Am I?

Cannot believe that today our sweet little girl is 1 month old already...1 MONTH?!? Seriously?

Eating: 3.5-4oz per feed

Sleeping: 2.5-4hrs...obviously at night if we can get a 3 or 4 hour stretch its amazing.

Skills: I don't know what a 1 month old should or shouldn't do, but she's very alert and attentive. She follows voices and objects really well. I also call her a little turtle when we do tummy time or if you are holding her propped on your shoulder because she really gets going when she lifts her head and turns it from side to side.

This milestone is bittersweet. It makes me sad, because I do miss having her all to myself in my belly; but also happy because its so neat to see her grow and develop. It's amazing what the body can do. Looking back its hard to believe I went through an actual labor and delivery.

Things have been going well, I get a lot of compliments and comments on how content of a baby she is. Of course, I'm still learning things about her and her signals, my mom hit the nail on the head when she said I'm intimidated by her. WE are no longer in charge, little miss priss is. I'm still a little nervous when she cries and I don't figure out why fast enough. My brain sometimes can't comprehend why she doesn't "know" these things. Aren't they programmed to know basic functions and communication skills prior to birth? LoL

Tuesday was a rough day for me, she slept fine the night before but at one point in the day she woke up and stayed awake for nearly 4hrs fighting sleep and fussing every now and again. I felt like a failure when I couldn't get her calm. She finally calmed down enough and dosed off to sleep and we had a better night.

My mom could hear the stress in my voice that day when we spoke and was sweet enough to come out here on Wednesday, but she'll be leaving tomorrow :( waaaahh! I love having her help/guidance and company.

Speaking of company, I get a lot of people saying "I bet you're glad you didn't have any visitors today." , but truthfully...visitors are what help keep me semi-sane on a monotonous day. Granted I don't really favor unannounced visitors because I might be pulling a "pajama day"...BUT you don't realize how important adult interaction is until you don't have it.

She's a sweetie pie and adorable, but of course I am biased. Even though I still find myself struggling with certain things I wouldn't change it for the world.

Daily dose of cuteness

Things I've learned

In just three weeks I've already learned some interesting things about babies and being a new mom.

- Sleep is underrated

- Sometimes babies make noise just to make noise

- Your nipples can actually scab and peel --- gross fact, but totally true

- Don't try and go sans bra...unless you want to soak your clothes

- You're not in control, the baby is

- What is sex?

- Healing after vaginal delivery is painful and uncomfortable. Even with ice packs, hemorrhoidal pads and Dermoplast, expect discomfort unlike any kind you've probably felt in your downstairs region.

- Showers are now short and sweet and somehow shaving my legs feels too time consuming most days

- The way other people raise their kids may not be the exact way you should raise yours

- In our case you really do need a good stash of newborn diapers...

- ...because sometimes you will waste 1-2 diapers during a change if your baby is still doing their business while you're attempting to change them

- Babies peel and even though you want to get some of it off, don't

- Patience is...well it's a big deal

- I've unintentionally neglected my cats (insert sad face)

- Being out of my normal routine, I've already forgotten to pay some bills...luckily I realized this prior to them being late

- Getting angry at your husband even though he's pulled his weight and probably been more involved than most Dad's is inevitable

- Somehow hearing my own baby crap her pants makes me have to go to the bathroom

- You may want to change your sheets on a daily basis because hormones can cause excessive night sweats

- If you feel like you need to cry, just cry...because most likely you won't have a chance to later and it's better to release it -vs- hold it in

These are just a few random thoughts from my experience that have been going through my head lately and I thought I would share.

Newborn photoshoot

I am in LOVE love LOVE with these photo's of our sweet girl :)

 

Growing!

Pediatrician appt went well, I really like her doctor (Dr. Bailey at Longstreet Pediatrics). He's sweet and explains things and talks to us without rushing us out. He's also good to her (not in a creepy way).

As of today (19 days old)

Weight - 7lbs 14oz
Length - 20.75"
Head circumference - 14"

He is referring us to a dermatologist because she has a place on her head that he called cutis aplasia. A type of deformation of her skin when developing in utero. He wasn't overly concerned about it, but said a dermatologist is who would make a call on it. If it is cutis aplasia he said hers is a very mild case and they wouldn't do anything with it until she's about a year old.

So far she's doing great and healthy :)

Update

We are all doing well here!

Hardy had two weeks off work after Persephone was born, but he returned to work on Monday. The two of us survived, but we sure do miss him. I didn't realize how much I relied on him until he wasn't here anymore.

She's still eating every 2-3hrs and she's close to eating 2.5oz each feed. Her umbilical cord fell off last week...just a sign she's growing so fast. Her next pediatric appt. is tomorrow morning. I'm curious to see how much she weighs and where she's progressed to.

I can't stop taking photos of her..I'm testing the limits of iPhone space :)

2 weeks

Persephone...

Like Mary Poppins you're practically perfect in every way.

You smile

You coo

You grunt like a puppy

You make us laugh with your poots

You smell so sweet

You love to be held

You are the love of our lives

Baby farts

Remember how hard you used to laugh as a kid when someone would fart? Ok well most of us still laugh at it, lol.

Welllll there's nothing funnier than a baby farting. Persephone can let em rip pretty darn good and they make me LOL every time. I can see now why people may blame babies when they themselves let one go, because baby farts are legit...even if they come from a baby butt - they can be loud!!

Just had to share this funny tidbit

Oh and a photo for the day...

Roller coaster of love

When they say your hormones go out of whack during and after pregnancy they ain't kidding. I recently told my mom and a few friends I feel bipolar at times. One minute I'm happy and not anxious at all about knowing what to do and how to take care of Persephone and the next I cry because something doesn't go my way.

For example the other day I was pumping and when I went to screw on the lid of the bottle I knocked the other bottle into the floor and completely wasted 2.5oz of breast milk. What did I do? Stormed upstairs and locked myself in the bathroom for a temporary cry.

My mom was sweet enough to stay the weekend with us (for those of you who don't know she lives 3hrs away in Alabama) and both Friday and Saturday night she tended to Persephone and let Hardy and I get some much needed rest. She also gave us some great tips on listening to her crying cues. Of course she had to return home Sunday and I cried. Cried because I knew I would miss her help and sad that she can't be here more often and cried because I know she wishes she was closer so she could see Persephone more often.

Sunday I got a horrid migraine that stuck with me until about 2am this morning. ***I hadnt had any migraines my entire pregnancy....now they're back?!? aghh

Needless to say Monday was a real challenge for me. Taking care of a newborn is one thing, but trying to do it while you don't feel good is another challenge. Luckily I have Hardy here to help me (and unfortunately he goes back to work Friday...I'll probably cry again).

I don't mean for this to be a pity post, but I am being honest. I love my baby girl and I wouldn't trade her for the world, but this parenting thing is pretty intense! On top of being emotional I've still been trying to tackle breastfeeding/pumping. As some of you may already know because I've text you about it!!

I started off breastfeeding but we never got it 100% which lead to Persephone not peeing/pooping good and she ended up in the hospital for jaundice. That's all behind us now because my milk came in the same day she was admitted into hospital and I started pumping. I've been exclusively pumping since then. This past Saturday though while my mom was here we tried latching her on the breast again and she did great, didn't seem like the bottle had tainted her. She didn't stay latched long though and resorted back to wiggling, kicking, fussing and turning her head side to side even though she had the nipple in her mouth the entire time. Of course when she does this and starts to fuss then I get frustrated and I know babies can sense that so I throw my hands up and go back to bottle. I feel comfortable knowing she's still getting the benefits of my breast milk even if its not direct. But I'm not perfect at it. During the day I always pump every 2-3hrs, but at night I basically have to kick myself to pump --- now why should that be so hard to do when it's making sure you have proper food for your baby?!? Shouldn't my brain tell my ass to get up and do it? That's when I feel like a failure. Pumping isn't painful, but its somewhat time consuming when you consider how often you have to do it and since that's all I'm doing for her feedings, I'm usually only 2 bottles ahead of her at a time. So when I choose to be lazy in the middle of the night and not pump, I'm hurting my supply...and then hurting my feelings because I didn't do it for her.

Gosh this all sounds so depressing!! I am ok, I think I do have baby blues, but I don't believe I have PPD. I know in time it will get easier and we'll all be in tune with one another, but for now this is how my experience has been...

On a side note I would like to say hearing her poot makes me LOL.