Aug 20, 2012

To be, or not to be

; that is the question.
 
Aside from every thing else running through my mind.  I've been thinking a lot lately about the delivery room debacle.  Who stays in? Who stays out?  Pre-pregnancy I always said it would just be Hardy and I, because I want it to be as intimate as possible as we officially start our family.  Then after becoming pregnant, I've been asked who's going to be in the room with us and I've found myself teeter tottering. 
 
One day I feel comfortable having my friend in there with us, she would be a neutral person from neither one of our families, but would also make sure I'm taken care of in the process.  Then I think about having my mom in there because, duh, she's my mom and our relationship is special.  Then the "worrier" in me wonders if my MIL will feel left out if she's not invited in.  Granted what I have with my own mother is worlds different than what I have with my MIL and I feel by default my mom can do whatever I want her too, lol.  But all of those options take away from what I've said all this time - that it would just be us two. 
 
I know people can change their minds, but I would rather have my mind made up before ever being admitted so it would be one less stress.  Hardy has been pretty mum about it, saying we can do whatever I want.  But I think sometimes I seek justification of my own decision so I feel better about it - does that make sense?
 
Sometimes I wish I didn't "care" as much as I do so it might be easier to make decisions.  Even if they are personal decisions, I always seem to worry about how it will effect others.
 
 
So did you/didn't you have in the delivery room and WHY? 

8 comments:

  1. I think this is something you have to decide on your own. Michal and I experienced it alone and I wouldn't of had it any other way. When each baby was born was the only times I have ever seen Michael cry. I don't think he would have showed those emotions with others in the room. You need to decide what it important to you and not compromise. Do with what feels right.

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  2. I had a c-section but had decided before I was ever pregnant that it would just be me and my husband in the room. I think it's a special moment and it gives yall time to bond as a family of 3 before you get tons of visitors and the baby gets passed around.

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  3. I had a c-section as well... Which is probably karma kicking my ass because I just wanted my husband and my mother in there, and not my mil. (for many reasons...) and in the end it was just me and chris b/c of the c-section. I don't feel comfortable enough to have my MIL seeing my who-ha!....That and she had a lot of opinions throughout my pregnancy and I had enough of her by delivery time. But you and Hardys mom have a different relationship, and that's completely up to you.....in the end it's ALL UP TO YOU, you're the Momma and what you say goes! But it would be a wonderful experience for you and Hardy together...and if you have a vaginal birth, everyone else can come in pretty much right after she's born, so it's not like they'll be waiting forever. Who knows, you might go into labor at 3am and have Persephone by 6am! LOL It might just be you and Hardy there, you never know! Just don't stress over the little things, everything will fall into place!

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  4. My husband has already told me he'd prefer it to be the two of us in there when that time comes. I have agreed so far but now I kind of think I want my mom there, too. But, like you, I wondered if my MIL would feel left out if that were to be the arrangement. I'm still a few months away from really having to decide, but I can empathize with exactly what you're feeling.

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  5. my hospital only allows two people...so i just had zach and a photographer. and the photographer we use stays completely quiet the entire time so it's like she's not even there ;) which was important to me! personally i can't imagine wanting anyone else in there, but it is a VERY personal decision. Do not be concerned with hurting feelings as at the end of the day it's about what YOU and Hardy want!!! ;)

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  6. If I would have had a natural childbirth as opposed to a c-section, I was going to have Keith, my Mom, and my best friend in the room (and probably wouldn't have cared if someone else would have came in with the exception of my MIL (we have issues)). I'm just not a private person. But, since I had a c-section, with Preslei, they would allow let Keith back (the anesthesiologist makes the decision how many people they will let back) but with Annalise, I had a rocking anesthesiologist that let both Keith and my Mom go back. You just need to do what YOU and Hardy feel comfortable doing!

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  7. I'm modest and for that reason alone I don't want ANYONE looking down there. I know Greg, and he stays WAYYY above my shoulders- haha.... he even asks them to put a sheet up so he can't see anything- lol. With that being said, I REALLY encourage you to just have it be you and Hardy. I KNOW everyone probably had their feelings hurt I didn't ask them to be in there but I would not have it any other way. Greg, like Michael cried when all of our kids were born and it is just literally, the closest you will EVER be to him in my opinion. You guys MADE the baby alone, so bring her into the world alone :P

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  8. Thank you all so much for your feedback!

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