Quarter life crises

Ahhh being a kid was so easy, I think the transition from a child to an adult becomes more difficult over time. Just the thought of all these worldy burdens for being an adult is overwhelming. There again, there are plenty of people who still live at home and do nothing with their lives - - so is it better to be responsible and struggle/work for what you have and want OR be a moocher for most of your life and never learn the value of being a responsible adult?


Is a quarter-life crisis possible??

-I want to be married to Hardy and live in our own house but then other half of me wishes I were 10yrs old again playing with Polly Pocket and My Littlest Pet Shop toys in my room as if nothing outside of my bubble existed.

-I want to have a child before I'm 35...hell before I'm 30 but then I think about when I brought home a robot baby in 11th grade and after the first night I ended up giving it to a neighbor because I didn't like having it.

-I wished I knew how to REALLY cook, like breakfast and every thing not just simple meals but I remember how easy it was to just pop a small round cake pan into my Easy Bake Oven and voila! a dessert is made!! (Yea they never tasted that great)

***Crossbow Home Gym FOR SALE***

Crossbow Legend by Weider

$150 OBO

**Great condition, barely used

Entire workout bench with poster showing all possible workouts and standard accessories included.

Functions Include:

-65 club quality exercises
-Leg developer
-240lbs of resistance
-4-position padded bench
-CRS resistance
-Lat tower
-Quick-change resistance
-Rowing seat
-Resistance bars
-Space saver fold-up bench

***If interested in any of these - - please email me at amanda.lockaby@att.net

Trading In

Five years ago Hardy bought a 2002 Isuzu Axiom. It was a very nice car, leather seats...6 disc CD changer, the works. About two years after he had it it started giving us transmission trouble (and after doing extensive research we discovered ALL Axiom's were doomed with transmission issues) we paid $2500 to have it repaired. Even though it was 'fixed' he never fully trusted the car and of course was pissed we had to put nearly $3k on a credit card just to get it running again. At the end of July 2007 he decided to trade it in for a 07' Kia Sportage - about a week later I decided I wanted one and traded in my 2001 Honda CR-V for a Sportage as well (just a different color). We have been fairly happy with the cars, they have great space, drove nicely and had tinted windows (big plus). Earlier this year it occured to me it was dumb that I went to get the same car after Hardy, we have NO NEED for two SUV's. We don't have a family and it's not like we go camping/backpacking all the time and need all that space. In February I was taking my car in for maintenance and decided I'd eyeball some of the new vehicles in the lot. I fell in love with the Forte, Kia's new sedan...so we went inside talked with a sales guy and started crunching numbers.

I ended up getting the Forte and I don't regret it one bit. While I did add on a few more years in terms of 'owing' and my payment increased $12/mo I save on gas mileage so it balances itself out. The Sportage at best on a long distance trip would get 300mi to a tank of gas, the Forte gets around 340 and that's in the city...every day driving.

About a week ago Hardy received a letter from KIA stating the dealership we buy from (KIA Mall of GA) was under new management and holding a trade in event 7/22-7/24 to build up their used inventory + offering more to the customer in trade in value. We thought - "What the heck, let's give it a try". Hardy owed more on his Sportage than I did because the Isuzu had more negative equity than my Honda did. Long story short....he got a black Kia SOUL, it's sooooo cute. It's supposed to be a little better than my car is on gas too.
 

All in all, you're always going to need a car so why not have a car you enjoy driving, save on gas and...the best part of it all. Kia's standard 10yr/100,000mi warranty. You can't beat any of those factors.

Migraines

For at least 4-5yrs now I've been a migraine sufferer. Both my mom and younger brother suffer from them too. I've discovered mine are generally episodic migraines (occuring once or twice a month). After paying attention to their frequency, I discovered that mine are menstrual migraines...yea thanks so much mother nature. Most doctors will tell you to take the prescription at the first sign of a migraine - because normal people will get an aura, blurred vision, floaters..the list goes on, when they know a migraine is coming. Other than knowing when to expect my period - - I never know it's going to hit until it hits, or maybe I haven't familiarized myself with the symptoms?!? I always try to use tylenol or advil like with any normal ache or pain and after 1 dose if there's no difference I know I'm in for a ride. I guess I should start automatically taking a migraine pill the day before I remove my Nuvaring so my body can be prepared for the dip in hormones?!?

I just did some research online and found this interesting fact:

After puberty, migraines affect women three times more often than men. Hormones – especially estrogen – appear to have important effects on migraine activity. About 60% of women who have migraine experience attacks before or during their menstrual period, although only about 10% to 15% will have migraine only when they have their menstrual period. The majority of women will have migraine at other times of their cycle but will experience attacks of greater severity one to two days before or during their menstrual period.

I've been using Maxalt (rizatriptan) for the treatment of my migraines for almost 2yrs now and on occasion back it up with phenergan as I tend to experience nausea with most attacks. It's really really painful when one hits, I always have sensitivity to sound, light is usually tolerable if it's not an advanced migraine but moving around is usually painful too (It seems with every step I take the throbbing in my head worsens). There have been a few times when I haven't had my prescription filled (because it's $35.00 for 9 pills....yea ONLY 9 PILLS!!!) and have just endured the pain as best I could without stabbing myself in the head. I hope that one day I will out-grow these, if possible...before menopause since they appear to be episodic to my 'flow'.

I want to...be a better Christian

-Start a family
-Be more active
-Decorate my house
-Pay off credit card debt
-Always find time to laugh
-Find out whats wrong with me
-Find a job I love and am good at
-Be a positive influence on others
-Stop letting things build up inside
-Never forget the people who love me
-Be the best wife/daughter/sister/aunt I can be
-Find the motivation that millions of people have yet I somehow lack

Thankful for THESE times

In the 1950's, women were responsible for keeping house, cooking meals, raising the kids..etc while the men were off at work. It was rare during those times that a woman would have a decent job with decent pay. Over time as women have become more independent and granted 'almost equal' positions/offers as men things have changed for households. I don't know if I would like to stay at home full time (I know I know, I say that without having REALLY experienced it) - - when I'm off for Christmas break after 3-4 days I start to get bored and wish I was back at work. While I don't mind sleeping in - - I don't like being cooped up in a house all day either.


I'm very thankful that Hardy and I both have jobs that for now keep us afloat with our embarassing credit card balances and house payment. I take pride in how hard I've worked to get our credit scores up and keep them there. After having bought the townhome, I'm TRYING to find a way to pay off our credit cards (I know that's backwards, we should have done that before buying a home). But we were able to get the home and it was too good not to take. I've attempted to apply for a personal loan but so far the banks tell me our debt-to-income ratio won't allow for one. But I'm like - - uhh hello, if you'd give me the loan I WON'T HAVE THESE credit card bills anymore, duh!?!? Whatever...the economy sucks even for responsible people who are trying to go about things the right way.

Back to household duties - when we lived in our tiny 1 bedroom apartment in Gainesville we didn't really have 'duties', I generally always had to ask for help from Hardy to change the litter box or vacuum..etc etc. Now that we're in a much larger space, however, we agreed to split the downstairs/upstairs duties. I'm very proud of my husband for doing what he does, even if sometimes I still feel like I do more. I realize he works hard every day of the week and appreciate his willingness to help. I feel that if both people work then they should share responsibilities. If you split the bills, why not split the housework - - right? Now if I were at home all day, I would make sure the house was always clean and presentable because that would be my job. I'm even lucky enough that Hardy enjoys cooking - even though his 'part' of the house involved the kitchen, I didn't demand that he be the cook but he is and he's great at it. I still, occasionally make meals if he's not familiar how to cook it or it's something suggested and I have the recipe but most nights it's him that cooks.

Ahhhh I love him.

Music

Thinking back over time to ALL the music I've listened to over the years and I'm reminded of certain bands/cd's that really grabbed me at certain times in life. There are two very influential bands I remember in particular. When I was going into 7th grade I fell in love with Hanson, I can't say I'm a huge fan of their music now even though it hasn't really strayed from how they've always sounded but I guess I grew up and away from that sound. I thank Hanson though because it introduced me to some of my best friends. In 1999 I started listening to KoRn and really felt connected to their music emotionally, even though I had nothing REALLY to be angry about during that time, I was angry and the music was a release for me. It even inspired me to take electric guitar lessons back when MARS music was around, I did for about 3mos then my teacher moved to CA and I gave up - dumb idea....I could prbably be a rock star right now YEA RIGHT!! To this day I still listen to KoRn on occasion and am brought back to my teenage angst days when life seemed so horrible but now noticing life was so much EASIER then.


I think it's amazing how connected one can be with music. I think I've had a tendency to be very supportive (obsessive) of certain bands that I come to like. Of course my walls were ALWAYS plastered with Hanson through middle school but as I started high school and transferred into heavier music those posters were replaced with the faces of KoRn, CREED, Staind, Orgy...etc. A few years back I fell in love with 30 Seconds to Mars and when I finally got to see them in concert I found myself teary eyed!?!? I felt like an idiot in the crowd but felt so happy to be there seeing a band I was connected to. At this point in time I would say my favorite band is Within Temptation (a symphonic metal band from Netherlands). The vocal ability of Sharon den Adel is so peaceful and beautiful I haven't found a song yet that I didn't like. It has a taste of darkness but when mixed with her vocals + strings and synthesizers it takes their music to an entirely new level. I hope one day I will get to see them perform live, I feel like seeing a band in concert sort of completes every thing (for me).



So I just want to say THANK YOU to music..in general.

Got my wedding photo's this weekend - - LOVE LOVE LOVE them :)

Thanks a million to Tracie Manders Photography

Cleaning house for dummies

When Hardy and I first moved into our 1 bedroom apartment in Gainesville I thought for sure it would be a breeze to keep clean because it was SO SMALL. But we quickly learned that instead of it being an easy clean.....it ended up becoming a cluttered little space.


When we moved out last year I was so shocked at how much junk we had managed to pack into 635sqft and how much dust/cat hair was scattered throughout. It was embarassing - - every thing was always kept clean surface wise but it never occured to me that I had never really done a thorough ceiling to floor cleaning the entire time we lived there (2.5yrs). I have a dear friend, Tabitha, offered to help me do the 'final clean' and she was such a sport (especially since she's allergic to cats) so although there weren't cats present while we cleaned there was enough hair to be an allergy problem. It took us almost 3hrs to clean the place and unfortunately for me my vaccums aren't the best in the business lol so there was still some hair (cat hair and mine ha ha ha) in certain areas. Luckily it was clean enough though the apartment complex did not charge me a terrible cleaning fee, I got most of my original deposit back.

Now it's almost been 1yr that we've lived in our new home in Flowery Branch and we just can't get our crap straight. We made a deal about 6mos into living there that Hardy was responsible for the downstairs and I was responsible for the upstairs. Still of course, because I inherited some OCD from my mom, I always seem to tidy up something 'downstairs'. We try to keep the dining room table pre-set so we're not likely to pile mail/misc things on it but it still happens, the bar in the kitchen always seems to be the resting place for Hardy's cds that he listens to throughout the week. It's like as soon as we catch up, we've made yet another mess. I guess we need to make a schedule and do certain things every day or every other day of the week so that we're not constantly trying to play catch up on the weekends. 1st on the list should be a new vaccum too so that you can actually tell a difference when we vaccum the floor - as opposed to now when the vaccum leaves spots of hair here and there (I'm beginning to dislike carpet).

If anyone has some tips - I am all ears.

Dreams

All my life I've been a dreamer...whether it be happy dreams or even scary nightmares, I always seem to have one or the oher every night. In fact, when I was in elementary school it seemed I would have this retarded dream about Dinosaurs attacking my neighborhood every new year of school and the class would have to hide out in my garage. I know, I know...Im weird.

Anyway, sometimes there are certain dreams/nightmares that have me waking up in a panic, dripping with sweat, my heart pounding and I'm anxious (especially the ones where you feel like you're falling and swear that when you wake up you HAD to be levitating).

LAST NIGHT was one that disturbed me, and I've had similar dreams plenty of times - they always have me feeling the same way when I finally wake up. I dreamt I had a baby....not just had one in my arms but of actually HAVING the baby. I felt the pain, the tenderness after the fact it was so strange....I was even breastfeeding!! I'm not opposed to having a child (or children), I want to have at least one before I'm too old to be a 'cool mom', but when you're not planning on it or trying to have one and you have one of these vivid dreams it only makes you wonder "Am I?". So needless to say I woke up in a panic wondering why in the world I'd had a dream like this...could I be? Am I? What if?

Hardy's not mentally ready at this point to have any and I would NEVER 'try' without his knowledge, I want it to happen when we're both expecting it.

I HAD A WEIRD DREAM THAT MADE ME FEEL WEIRD, THE END.

Ahhh Eclipse

I'm not going to give away any spoilers (as if anyone reads my blog anyway) to those who haven't read the books and are going to see the movie...it's perfect.  This was by far the best adaptation from book to film that I have seen.  Some parts were rearranged and mixed around but overall it was great.  Stephenie Meyer created one of the most desirable fictional characters with Edward Cullen, lol.  Such a romantic...too bad real men aren't more like him.

Hardy does fine :)  he's read The Twilight Saga twice so I have much respect for him.  A friend let me borrow the first book in the Sookie Stackhouse series so now I'll read it through and then watch True Blood - - I've got to have something to do since it will be November 2011 before Part 1 of Breaking Dawn comes out ::cries::