A letter

Dear Grandmother,

 

    Thanksgiving has already passed, I can't believe it.  As the holidays approach, all I can think about is you.  I'm not going to lie, this has been a rough, rough year.  I'm searching and searching through my brain for memories of us together, I don't ever want to forget them.  I don't ever want to forget you.  In time I know my heart will heal and I believe one day we'll be together again, but for now...it aches. 

 

A few weekends ago I went to get my haircut and there was an older lady in the waiting area that looked like you.  Mom and I both looked at one another and said "She looks just like Grandmother".  Isn't it amazing how things like that happen?  Just when I'm missing you the most, I see someone who resembles you.  That reminded me of a time when we lived in Savannah.  Mom, Trevor and I were on our way to eat Applebee's and Trevor was talking about missing the trains at Ba's house and naming them after Thomas & Friends.  As he was talking, we approached a railroad crossing and to our stunned eyes, the crossing arms dropped and the bell began to ring that a train was on its way.  It was almost as if Ba heard us talking about the trains and sent one our way.  Before that trip to Applebee's and even after, I don't recall us ever encountering another train.

 

Things just aren't the same without you here and I can't seem to grasp that you're gone.  It just feels like you're on vacation or something.  I want to call you, I want to visit you and hug your neck, but I can't.  I don't want to be sad, but the selfish child in me misses you so badly and I want you back.  There's a beautiful photo of you and I hugging from my wedding, I have a copy of it at my desk at work and in the foyer at home.  I love you and miss you.